


Vanish, O Night

by xvalkyrieofodin



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xvalkyrieofodin/pseuds/xvalkyrieofodin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He used to watch her dance before, back in the Red Room.  She doesn't remember him now, but it still gives him tranquility to watch Natasha as the music moves her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanish, O Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Elithien (tumblr) for the BuckyNat Secret Santa Exchange, based on Elithien's prompt: 
> 
> Something Nat did or something involving them that would bring Bucky in absolute tears of joy.
> 
> The title and a few of the themes of the story are based on "Nessun dorma" from Turandot, in sort of a slanted way.

Sometimes he watches her dance, just like he used to in the Red Room, from afar.  He sits at the back of the dance studio.  Natasha didn’t think they needed one in the Avengers tower, but Tony insisted after he heard she had trained in ballet.  Despite his arrogance at times, Stark had his own way of showing his friends that he cared.  

He’s not the only one who watches when she takes a moment to revisit the life meant to be her cover story.  He’s seen Clint, Carol and a few of the others pop in from time to time.  Even a few of the younger Avengers have gotten up the courage to sit in one of the folding chairs or on the floor, and watch as Natasha embodies grace with every movement.

It was easier to watch when she remembered him.  

Then it was just a man watching the woman he loved, the woman that loved him in return.  Now he catches her making confused expressions now and then, and he is sure she is wondering why Steve’s old buddy enjoys ballet so much.  Most days he just settles onto the hardwood floor behind her, quietly, and does his best not to interrupt.

She’s never said anything before, she just continues to move through the music.  Puccini’s “Turandot: Nessun Dorma” fills the room as she moves along with it.  It’s more commonly seen in opera than ballet, but he knows she loves the way the song builds and moves.  She turns, lithe arms swaying and dipping as the music swells around her.  

For a moment, their eyes meet and Bucky can’t help but think he’s intruding on some private pain. 

She stops her movement and walks toward him.  He didn’t realize it until he met Natasha, but he can now tell a dancer by the way they walk.  Feet slightly out turned, precise but light at the same time.  

Nessun dorma again swells, but she speaks above it.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. stop the music please.”  She commands and a moment later, and silence floods the room, heavy.  

Bucky feels exposed then, but he doesn’t run from it.  He waits to see what she does next.

“You know, people always watch, and I don’t usually mind, but you’re the only one that’s here almost every time I practice.”  She says once she’s a few feet from him.  He pushes up from his place on the floor to meet her.

“Are you a fan of ballet?” She asks when he does not respond to her first statement.

Bucky pushes out a breath that sounds more like a self depreciating laugh.

“Not really.  Sort of.  It’s complicated.” It’s the best answer he can manage.  Ballet is nice enough, but he’s really more a fan of her than it.  

“You dance like you fight, Natal-- Natasha.  It’s just fascinating to watch how one translates into the other.”   He offers her a lopsided grin.  “I’m not exactly the graceful sort, myself.  More of a blunt instrument.”

She smiles back at him, and bites her bottom lip a little.  He thinks she almost seems nervous, which is odd, because he can only place a few times he’s seen her as anything other than confident on the outside.  

“I’ve noticed.  You’re even more of a bull in a china shop then Steve is.”  She teases.

“I guess it’s just calming to watch you.  I’m sure you get it, lots of voices in your head, some old, some new.  It’s nice to quiet them.”  He says, because it’s the truth.  

He can’t be with her, not like how it was before, after what Leo Novokov did.  But he can be near her, like this.  

“That’s why I do it, to gain some peace.  When the music plays and  I move, the rest just falls away.”  She says.

Natasha looks down at the floor and then back up at him, her smile softens.

“Stay if you’d like, James.  We could all use some tranquility in our line of work.”

His eyes widened, just slightly, when she calls him “James” instead of Bucky.  She hasn’t used his given name since her memories were taken.  It’s a small glimmer of hope, he doesn’t want to read too much into it, but he can’t help himself.

“Thanks, I’d like to.” He responds.

Natasha starts the music again and her body begins to move along with it.  Bucky now hopes she does not look back, otherwise she would see the tears in his eyes.  She might think she upset him, but the truth could not be more the opposite.  Perhaps she does not remember, not now, but that single utterance of his name is enough of a rope for him to cling to.  Her mind has fought to repair itself before, and now, he believes it is possible again.  That thought alone, overcomes him as he watches her move and remembers when they were both young and foolish.  

Perhaps they will be foolish together again someday.  


End file.
